








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4442 | 17% |
| Smokes | 7830 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6820 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6971 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,209,250 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -RainNesorus⭕⃤ | 50% | 104 |
| #2 | sttr4ke 19yo | 49% | 92 |
| #3 | h3xa9on | 48% | 153 |
| #4 | HasNoNick | 47% | 507 |
| #5 | Nornia | 46% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HasNoNick | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | JornHegg | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | h3xa9on | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Milabeck | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Nornia | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HasNoNick | 1506 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #2 | JornHegg | 353 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | h3xa9on | 269 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nornia | 240 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Milabeck | 220 | 0.04 | 6 min |





