








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 950 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 223 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13522 | 26% |
| Smokes | 14515 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11735 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 12277 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,361,875 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olav | 58% | 88 |
| #2 | NORBROツ | 53% | 58 |
| #3 | h3xa9on | 49% | 332 |
| #4 | sttr4ke 19yo | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | Sondrix | 47% | 507 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Nornia | 46% | 321 |
| #10 | Milabeck | 46% | 474 |
| #11 | Klonkel | 44% | 80 |
| #12 | 37 yr old talent | 43% | 91 |
| #13 | Candy Bear 93 | 40% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JornHegg | 25 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Sondrix | 15 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | h3xa9on | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Milabeck | 11 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | -RainNesorus⭕⃤ | 8 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JornHegg | 727 | 0.06 | 20 min |
| #2 | Sondrix | 702 | 0.07 | 21 min |
| #3 | h3xa9on | 661 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #4 | Nornia | 553 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | Milabeck | 439 | 0.04 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sttr4ke 19yo | +4.70 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | -RainNesorus⭕⃤ | +2.58 | 62 | 62 |
| #3 | 37 yr old talent | +2.48 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | h3xa9on | +2.46 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | NORBROツ | +1.53 | 79 | 51 |





