








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,001 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4632 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3428 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 7106 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5835 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,854 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1552 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | 69% | 48 |
| #2 | Olav | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | HeInIkel | 59% | 58 |
| #4 | Fenix | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | Candy Bear 93 | 56% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | DramaLama | 50% | 34 |
| #11 | MorDi | 49% | 210 |
| #12 | Don Juan | 44% | 57 |
| #13 | Tonny | 43% | 30 |
| #14 | YouLikeCookies | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeInIkel | 12 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | MorDi | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | NorahBorah | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Olav | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Don Juan | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorDi | 363 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Useless | 285 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hoddse | 252 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | HeInIkel | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Candy Bear 93 | 119 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeInIkel | +6.27 | 74 | 42 |
| #2 | Hoddse | +4.72 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | Olav | +2.44 | 57 | 52 |
| #4 | Useless | +2.31 | 63 | 48 |
| #5 | TurboDiesel | +1.92 | 58 | 62 |





