








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 973 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1223 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1924 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1438 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,012 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sahar Luna | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | SpartanKing | 86% | 14 |
| #3 | 𝑭𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒀 | 82% | 11 |
| #4 | iBUYnegger | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | K’uk’ulkan ⛟ | 75% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | SPECTRE | 54% | 13 |
| #12 | MasterBaiter | 46% | 13 |
| #13 | Xen | 45% | 11 |
| #14 | -MoonFANG- | 44% | 9 |
| #15 | GR0LAR | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROLAR | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | SpartanKing | 38 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | K’uk’ulkan ⛟ | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝑭𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒀 | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sahar Luna | 24 | 0.08 | 1 min |





