








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 588 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 56,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10185 | 18% |
| Smokes | 15709 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 15998 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 14511 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,455,484 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1842 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚Uncle Roger♚™ | 74% | 247 |
| #2 | Bot Old Fart | 72% | 128 |
| #3 | K’uk’ulkan ⛟ | 71% | 135 |
| #4 | 𝑭𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒀 | 71% | 119 |
| #5 | Barry Badrinath 🚒 | 67% | 335 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sahar Luna | 66% | 155 |
| #7 | ♚Uncle Roger♚™ | 66% | 122 |
| #8 | ws | 66% | 220 |
| #9 | MasterBaiter | 65% | 189 |
| #10 | SPECTRE | 59% | 298 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sahar Luna | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | SPECTRE | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Barry Badrinath 🚒 | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | K’uk’ulkan ⛟ | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ws | 7 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚Uncle Roger♚™ | 431 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | SPECTRE | 395 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | MasterBaiter | 352 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | 𝑭𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒀 | 347 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sahar Luna | 343 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑭𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒀 | +6.22 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | Sahar Luna | +2.49 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | Bot Old Fart | +2.32 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | K’uk’ulkan ⛟ | +1.79 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | SPECTRE | +1.37 | 64 | 60 |





