








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2671 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2243 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1755 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1658 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,117 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meat | 60% | 70 |
| #2 | Cr1sper | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | Bappers | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Vhuxi | 51% | 85 |
| #5 | p0se | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Synix | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | Pugdog | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Headshot | 47% | 135 |
| #9 | Tanban | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | TuoMaSir | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Headshot | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Vhuxi | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | meat | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Cr1sper | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Bappers | 5 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bappers | 221 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Vhuxi | 209 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Headshot | 191 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | meat | 189 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | TuoMaSir | 171 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meat | +3.38 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | NIXIE | +2.85 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | p0se | +1.00 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | Synix | +0.89 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | Bappers | +0.87 | 62 | 71 |





