








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 781 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6622 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5527 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4785 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5715 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,354 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vonツ | 71% | 45 |
| #2 | Sloths | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | Bleeus | 62% | 53 |
| #4 | Ardy | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | meat | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ViDi | 849 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | blu | 602 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Bleeus | 241 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | NIXIE | 188 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ardy | 150 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meat | +2.97 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | NIXIE | +2.68 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | Ardy | +1.96 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Bappers | +1.87 | 67 | 78 |
| #5 | Sloths | +1.03 | 51 | 50 |





