








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 311 | 24% |
| Smokes | 209 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 341 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 430 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,233 of utility $351 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0se | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | meat | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Vhuxi | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Synix | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Bappers | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | NIXIE | 56% | 62 |
| #7 | TuoMaSir | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Tanban | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | Headshot | 50% | 42 |
| #10 | THEBOSS | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIXIE | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | meat | 5 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Headshot | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Vhuxi | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Bappers | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIXIE | 293 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Headshot | 68 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | meat | 58 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vhuxi | 44 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #5 | TuoMaSir | 43 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meat | +5.37 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | p0se | +4.64 | 89 | 31 |
| #3 | NIXIE | +3.26 | 86 | 59 |
| #4 | Synix | +3.20 | 74 | 35 |
| #5 | Bappers | +3.08 | 69 | 59 |





