








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1116 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1903 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1395 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1491 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,509 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jayzo | 56% | 9 |
| #9 | NIXIE | 51% | 85 |
| #10 | Tanban | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | Headshot | 50% | 84 |
| #12 | TuoMaSir | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIXIE | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | meat | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Headshot | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Bappers | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Pugdog | 3 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIXIE | 411 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | Bappers | 173 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | meat | 133 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Headshot | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | TuoMaSir | 107 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meat | +3.18 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | NIXIE | +3.08 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | Jayzo | +3.00 | 64 | 48 |
| #4 | Pugdog | +2.01 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | Bappers | +1.05 | 64 | 72 |





