








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1280 | 37% |
| Smokes | 608 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1019 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 531 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $697,122 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 速さ | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | fr0sty | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Carpet_R1d3r | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | sLump | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Tj | 51% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Carpet_R1d3r | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | sLump | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Tj | 51% | 82 |
| #6 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Carpet_R1d3r | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tj | 26 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Carpet_R1d3r | 9 | 0.0190 |
| #3 | 速さ | 7 | 0.0255 |
| #4 | sLump | 6 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 6 | 0.0330 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carpet_R1d3r | 169 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Tj | 103 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | sLump | 62 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Carpet_R1d3r | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | fr0sty | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carpet_R1d3r | +3.86 | 88 | 43 |
| #2 | Carpet_R1d3r | +2.62 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | +2.43 | 84 | 33 |
| #4 | fr0sty | +1.58 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | sLump | +1.48 | 71 | 45 |





