








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1837 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1388 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1150 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1529 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,129 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 70% | 44 |
| #9 | Tj | 70% | 54 |
| #10 | Anne Pro 2 Frank Edition | 70% | 93 |
| #11 | xD | 64% | 25 |
| #12 | sLump | 62% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 速さ | 67 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Tj | 26 | 0.0249 |
| #3 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 23 | 0.0263 |
| #4 | XXX | 19 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | Anne Pro 2 Frank Edition | 16 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 速さ | 471 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | sLump | 169 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Anne Pro 2 Frank Edition | 166 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | XXX | 117 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |





