








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3423 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3072 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2722 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3105 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $998,981 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 854 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLump | 22 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Carpet_R1d3r | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | 速さ | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Mini Chicken | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carpet_R1d3r | 913 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | sLump | 479 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | 速さ | 282 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | ventake | 220 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mini Chicken | 196 | 0.11 | 5 min |





