








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 944 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1037 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1076 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 602 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,344 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 速さ | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Carpet_R1d3r | 70% | 54 |
| #3 | fr0sty | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Pancake Areolas | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pancake Areolas | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | xD | 51% | 82 |
| #7 | sLump | 51% | 55 |
| #8 | Carpet_R1d3r | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xD | 22 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | sLump | 17 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﻝ | 16 | 0.0323 |
| #4 | 速さ | 13 | 0.0359 |
| #5 | Carpet_R1d3r | 12 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carpet_R1d3r | 282 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | xD | 193 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Carpet_R1d3r | 129 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | sLump | 128 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | fr0sty | 70 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carpet_R1d3r | +3.77 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | 速さ | +3.53 | 67 | 51 |
| #3 | Carpet_R1d3r | +2.69 | 85 | 54 |
| #4 | fr0sty | +1.86 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | Pancake Areolas | +1.21 | 63 | 47 |





