








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1082 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1207 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1476 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1509 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $736,361 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerusPalikka | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Makkaramies | 56% | 108 |
| #3 | NakuJaakko | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Moroara | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | nipsu | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Makkaramies | 48 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | NakuJaakko | 33 | 0.0451 |
| #3 | Moroara | 31 | 0.0279 |
| #4 | controllerpeek | 12 | 0.0360 |
| #5 | Joosef (Nasareth) | 11 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moroara | 452 | 0.41 | 12 min |
| #2 | NakuJaakko | 388 | 0.53 | 7 min |
| #3 | Makkaramies | 348 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Joosef (Nasareth) | 217 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | controllerpeek | 203 | 0.61 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | controllerpeek | +6.70 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | Moroara | +5.89 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | NakuJaakko | +4.57 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | Nebuls | +3.93 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | PerusPalikka | +2.13 | 66 | 52 |





