








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3162 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1494 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2599 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1478 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,827 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 326 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAKAKKAKAKKAKAKAKKAKAKKAKAKA | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Ornn Main | 63% | 83 |
| #3 | Facts | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | Ronald Reagan | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | Beikenost | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beikenost | 101 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | KAKAKKAKAKKAKAKAKKAKAKKAKAKA | 76 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mortuss | 55 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ornn Main | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Facts | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |





