








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1066 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4531 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2779 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1854 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2651 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,172,164 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | noci | 52% | 81 |
| #11 | kuki | 51% | 80 |
| #12 | Ronald Reagan | 51% | 81 |
| #13 | LogiC | 49% | 77 |
| #14 | Mortuss | 48% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HurriedHond | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Eternal Love | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | noci | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Mortuss | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | oakee | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eternal Love | 679 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | oakee | 482 | 0.36 | 18 min |
| #3 | noci | 316 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | LogiC | 247 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | kuki | 191 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAKAKKAKAKKAKAKAKKAKAKKAKAKA | +4.94 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | LogiC | +2.22 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Ronald Reagan | +1.39 | 86 | 37 |
| #4 | Ornn Main | +0.94 | 83 | 38 |
| #5 | oakee | +0.77 | 74 | 77 |





