








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 372 | 38% |
| Smokes | 280 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 214 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 126 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,024 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birb | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | spud | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | dash 𓀃 | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | vodca ☭ | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | kai | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scotty | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fraxiom stan | 58 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | DennisRobbman | 52 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #3 | Crixon | 47 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | C♡daK | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Thalic | 34 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | +5.34 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | dash 𓀃 | +4.76 | 86 | 78 |
| #3 | C♡daK | +3.50 | 90 | 66 |
| #4 | vodca ☭ | +2.37 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ ☹ Rew ☹ ⭕⃤ | +2.05 | 76 | 69 |





