








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3843 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2744 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1771 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2339 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,115 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shep | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | ADK | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | meo | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | rahzee | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | KAP | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Thalic | 57% | 47 |
| #9 | eoN | 57% | 14 |
| #10 | system | 57% | 35 |
| #11 | $upahh | 56% | 114 |
| #12 | Zahzi | 50% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $upahh | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Zahzi | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ADK | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ ☹ Rew ☹ ⭕⃤ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | melo | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $upahh | 406 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zahzi | 254 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | KAP | 216 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #4 | Thalic | 184 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ ☹ Rew ☹ ⭕⃤ | 127 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melo | +2.62 | 81 | 47 |
| #2 | rahzee | +2.29 | 80 | 77 |
| #3 | KAP | +2.20 | 75 | 76 |
| #4 | system | +1.57 | 93 | 51 |
| #5 | DennisRobbman | +1.21 | 78 | 69 |





