








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 662 | 28% |
| Smokes | 606 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 507 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,896 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonathaN | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Nec-9 | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | King | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | C♡daK | 49% | 65 |
| #5 | Misha | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Misha | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | fraxiom stan | 47% | 43 |
| #7 | Crixon | 45% | 66 |
| #8 | dash 𓀃 | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | Birb | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Misha | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | C♡daK | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Birb | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | dash 𓀃 | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | JonathaN | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crixon | 267 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | fraxiom stan | 204 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | C♡daK | 168 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Birb | 86 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #5 | Misha | 81 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C♡daK | +4.35 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | dash 𓀃 | +1.69 | 75 | 50 |
| #3 | JonathaN | +0.81 | 96 | 67 |
| #4 | Scotty | +0.45 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | fraxiom stan | -0.72 | 74 | 70 |





