








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1994 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2421 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $817,956 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Birb | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Nec-9 | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | C♡daK | 48% | 192 |
| #5 | Misha | 47% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | dash 𓀃 | 46% | 79 |
| #7 | JonathaN | 45% | 44 |
| #8 | Scotty | 45% | 66 |
| #9 | Browniee | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | fraxiom stan | 40% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scotty | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | dash 𓀃 | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Misha | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Birb | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Nec-9 | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C♡daK | 502 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | Birb | 386 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #3 | fraxiom stan | 304 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nec-9 | 236 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Misha | 210 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C♡daK | +3.15 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | dash 𓀃 | +1.39 | 88 | 48 |
| #3 | JonathaN | +1.16 | 82 | 74 |
| #4 | Scotty | +0.32 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Birb | +0.03 | 81 | 63 |





