








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1325 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3600 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2872 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3233 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,566,922 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hummel | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 48% | 114 |
| #3 | Testament78 | 48% | 111 |
| #4 | Big-C | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | raveN` | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Big-C | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | raveN` | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | Udo | 44% | 39 |
| #7 | Яotari | 44% | 156 |
| #8 | select | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Яotari | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Udo | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Big-C | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Hummel | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testament78 | 300 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | select | 248 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 228 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Яotari | 188 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | raveN` | 187 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | +1.09 | 67 | 83 |
| #2 | exe | +0.74 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | raveN` | +0.58 | 76 | 71 |
| #4 | Яotari | +0.14 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | Big-C | +0.09 | 41 | 65 |





