








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 396 matches | ||
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 221 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17263 | 33% |
| Smokes | 15064 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10531 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 9796 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,692,492 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1591 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eieibox | 55% | 69 |
| #2 | Big-C | 53% | 195 |
| #3 | BOBBY "AXE" AXELROD | 50% | 66 |
| #4 | dRe | 50% | 323 |
| #5 | Lahaine | 50% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Яotari | 49% | 166 |
| #9 | Menty | 49% | 336 |
| #10 | Martin | 48% | 130 |
| #11 | PlastiX | 47% | 64 |
| #12 | Hummel | 34% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big-C | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | dRe | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Dom | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Яotari | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Menty | 4 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dRe | 1324 | 0.18 | 34 min |
| #2 | Menty | 1226 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #3 | Lahaine | 650 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #4 | Dom | 536 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | Big-C | 357 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eieibox | +1.30 | 70 | 54 |
| #2 | Lahaine | +0.62 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | Martin | +0.61 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | select | +0.54 | 55 | 77 |
| #5 | dRe | +0.25 | 71 | 74 |





