








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 467 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4233 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5863 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5800 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5237 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,498,057 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shooooooorty ;) | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | select | 53% | 195 |
| #3 | eieibox | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | PlastiX | 50% | 115 |
| #5 | Яotari | 47% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PlastiX | 50% | 115 |
| #5 | Яotari | 47% | 226 |
| #6 | exe | 47% | 47 |
| #7 | Sweaty´s MUM | 44% | 32 |
| #8 | Hummel | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Яotari | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | PlastiX | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | exe | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Shooooooorty ;) | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 1049 | 0.26 | 31 min |
| #2 | PlastiX | 451 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Яotari | 256 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sweaty´s MUM | 137 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hummel | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | +1.57 | 59 | 79 |
| #2 | eieibox | +1.09 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | Яotari | +0.42 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | Big-C | +0.29 | 37 | 67 |
| #5 | exe | +0.15 | 79 | 68 |





