








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2065 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 986 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5650 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9275 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 4079 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5030 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,778,787 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Areoon | 58% | 71 |
| #2 | Fibus | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | select | 49% | 166 |
| #4 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 48% | 458 |
| #5 | nazaR | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | f1Ne' | 45% | 91 |
| #10 | Udo | 45% | 288 |
| #11 | exe | 44% | 156 |
| #12 | Stage | 41% | 58 |
| #13 | Hummel | 37% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Udo | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Testament78 | 14 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Big-C | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | raveN` | 8 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testament78 | 1439 | 0.14 | 39 min |
| #2 | select | 931 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #3 | raveN` | 914 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #4 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 819 | 0.08 | 23 min |
| #5 | Udo | 456 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fibus | +1.85 | 58 | 51 |
| #2 | select | +1.19 | 61 | 81 |
| #3 | raveN` | +1.09 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Stage | +0.86 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Яotari | +0.84 | 75 | 56 |





