








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4564 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2828 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 521 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 2424 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,371 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | czop | 46% | 72 |
| #7 | hutch | 44% | 180 |
| #8 | Tripwana | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | ! B R 4 G G Y ! | 39% | 46 |
| #10 | Alex | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cryptic | 19 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | hutch | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ! B R 4 G G Y ! | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | ♤key | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | bop | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bop | 606 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | hutch | 576 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | cryptic | 330 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♤key | 128 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | czop | 123 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bop | +4.19 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | hutch | +2.24 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | byte | +1.60 | 89 | 69 |
| #4 | cryptic | +0.82 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | ! B R 4 G G Y ! | +0.70 | 65 | 49 |





