








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 85 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12 | 14% |
| Smokes | 28 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $28,021 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slushie <3 | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Mr. Stabby | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Chloe :3 | 32% | 34 |
| #4 | Sufrad | 32% | 50 |
| #5 | Stitch | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slushie <3 | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Mr. Stabby | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Chloe :3 | 32% | 34 |
| #4 | Sufrad | 32% | 50 |
| #5 | Stitch | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sufrad | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Slushie <3 | 4 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | Chloe :3 | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Mr. Stabby | 1 | 1.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chloe :3 | 63 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sufrad | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Slushie <3 | 17 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Stitch | 3 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stitch | +8.65 | 82 | 45 |
| #2 | Sufrad | +6.52 | 95 | 54 |
| #3 | Slushie <3 | +0.97 | 84 | 49 |
| #4 | Chloe :3 | -1.12 | 74 | 52 |
| #5 | Lilly! | -3.12 | 61 | 9 |





