








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 831 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2506 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3885 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2459 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3676 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,851,511 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mr. Stabby | 56% | 111 |
| #9 | Slushie <3 | 54% | 158 |
| #10 | Sub (The Solution) | 53% | 47 |
| #11 | Chloe :3 | 49% | 191 |
| #12 | Lilly! | 32% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stitch | 26 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Slushie <3 | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Mr. Stabby | 15 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Chloe :3 | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | J0NYB0Y1 | 8 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uree | 442 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #2 | Chloe :3 | 388 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | J0NYB0Y1 | 330 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mr. Stabby | 282 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Stitch | 275 | 0.09 | 6 min |





