








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4050 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3992 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3348 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5343 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,469,306 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ounce | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | DEATH THE KID | 62% | 71 |
| #3 | Ghost_Wraith | 60% | 100 |
| #4 | toogles | 59% | 113 |
| #5 | Omar’s Comin’ | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Royal | 55% | 130 |
| #9 | Gulgator | 53% | 64 |
| #10 | Cheddar | 52% | 84 |
| #11 | Jonathan "EliGE" Jablonowski | 51% | 174 |
| #12 | x3 | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Royal | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Omar’s Comin’ | 8 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Japboy! | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Cheddar | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | DEATH THE KID | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Royal | 294 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Japboy! | 287 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | toogles | 234 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ghost_Wraith | 223 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jonathan "EliGE" Jablonowski | 197 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NRGY | +3.05 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | Ghost_Wraith | +2.50 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | Gulgator | +1.58 | 71 | 70 |
| #4 | Omar’s Comin’ | +0.90 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | Shottie | +0.67 | 75 | 76 |





