








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 281 matches | ||
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3833 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4104 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4792 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3675 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,200,228 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghost_Wraith | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | Shottie | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | NRGY | 59% | 113 |
| #4 | Gulgator | 55% | 98 |
| #5 | Cheddar | 55% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cheddar | 55% | 100 |
| #6 | Jonathan "EliGE" Jablonowski | 54% | 467 |
| #7 | DEATH THE KID | 53% | 154 |
| #8 | Royal | 49% | 132 |
| #9 | Big Ounce | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonathan "EliGE" Jablonowski | 14 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | NRGY | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Royal | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Big Ounce | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | DEATH THE KID | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonathan "EliGE" Jablonowski | 568 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | NRGY | 400 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Royal | 348 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Gulgator | 307 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | DEATH THE KID | 288 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghost_Wraith | +2.54 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | NRGY | +1.60 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Shottie | +0.63 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | Gulgator | +0.43 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | toogles | +0.40 | 70 | 62 |





