








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 277 matches | ||
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3440 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4477 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3015 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3019 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,663,102 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 646 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salman Zaidi | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Shottie | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | NRGY | 62% | 71 |
| #4 | Gulgator | 60% | 106 |
| #5 | LilDurk | 60% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jonathan "EliGE" Jablonowski | 57% | 349 |
| #8 | Royal | 56% | 163 |
| #9 | toogles | 53% | 154 |
| #10 | Big Ounce | 52% | 94 |
| #11 | Cheddar | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonathan "EliGE" Jablonowski | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Royal | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | NRGY | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | toogles | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Big Ounce | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonathan "EliGE" Jablonowski | 436 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | Gulgator | 417 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Royal | 414 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | toogles | 344 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | NRGY | 295 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghost_Wraith | +3.18 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | NRGY | +1.50 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | Gulgator | +1.20 | 65 | 71 |
| #4 | LilDurk | +1.03 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | DEATH THE KID | +0.84 | 69 | 52 |





