








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1414 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 64,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16173 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14002 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 18401 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 15847 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,978,313 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deB | 53% | 126 |
| #2 | ✿ bandit | 49% | 147 |
| #3 | ddubdaniel | 48% | 81 |
| #4 | Cidhr | 47% | 238 |
| #5 | TheGooose69 | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deB | 53% | 126 |
| #2 | ✿ bandit | 49% | 147 |
| #3 | ddubdaniel | 48% | 81 |
| #4 | Cidhr | 47% | 238 |
| #5 | TheGooose69 | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cidhr | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | TheGooose69 | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | deB | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ✿ bandit | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ddubdaniel | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deB | 1115 | 0.42 | 32 min |
| #2 | Cidhr | 704 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | ddubdaniel | 281 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✿ bandit | 90 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | TheGooose69 | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cidhr | +1.20 | 32 | 39 |
| #2 | deB | +0.52 | 29 | 76 |
| #3 | ✿ bandit | +0.50 | 64 | 40 |
| #4 | TheGooose69 | +0.39 | 52 | 41 |
| #5 | ddubdaniel | -0.67 | 35 | 53 |





