








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1319 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5991 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3648 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5023 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3490 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,829,036 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 751 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leland Coyle | 53% | 80 |
| #2 | Blitzkrieg | 51% | 167 |
| #3 | p0gsyy | 49% | 411 |
| #4 | bork | 48% | 549 |
| #5 | deB | 47% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0gsyy | 25 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | bork | 16 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Gr3ml1n | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | DailyGainz | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | deB | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bork | 3357 | 0.29 | 62 min |
| #2 | p0gsyy | 1920 | 0.22 | 46 min |
| #3 | deB | 1023 | 0.41 | 29 min |
| #4 | Gr3ml1n | 645 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #5 | DailyGainz | 192 | 0.13 | 6 min |





