








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 283 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1530 | 57% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 273 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,929 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verklagen | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | Verklagen | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Röpö Roope | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | ropanz | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | Luka | 59% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Aleksi "allu" Jalli | 52% | 52 |
| #9 | h3lppo | 52% | 27 |
| #10 | deata | 50% | 22 |
| #11 | ● ᴥ ● | 50% | 52 |
| #12 | HJ | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SYÖ LEIPÄÄ | 12 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | h3lppo | 9 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | ropanz | 7 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | Aleksi "allu" Jalli | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Verklagen | 5 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ● ᴥ ● | 202 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Aleksi "allu" Jalli | 128 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | ropanz | 106 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Luka | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | h3lppo | 79 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓞𝓖𝓘 <3 | +5.73 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | Verklagen | +3.95 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | h3lppo | +2.96 | 67 | 47 |
| #4 | Verklagen | +1.44 | 42 | 43 |
| #5 | Aleksi "allu" Jalli | +1.41 | 63 | 44 |





