








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1874 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2206 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2625 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2815 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,951,278 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dullerturtle | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Röökiboss | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | Hovikuski | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | 30sekRipe | 42% | 184 |
| #5 | kikkeli | 42% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | jelloeh | 40% | 225 |
| #8 | Samppa | 38% | 58 |
| #9 | rafal | 37% | 169 |
| #10 | Small M | 32% | 37 |
| #11 | kace | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kikkeli | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | 30sekRipe | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | joe | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | rafal | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Hovikuski | 5 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kikkeli | 799 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | rafal | 682 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | 30sekRipe | 503 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | jelloeh | 273 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | joe | 268 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | +7.24 | 92 | 78 |
| #2 | 30sekRipe | +0.90 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | Dullerturtle | +0.48 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | Röökiboss | -0.08 | 57 | 65 |
| #5 | jelloeh | -0.91 | 48 | 49 |





