








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 926 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1661 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1165 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2034 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,065,049 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovikuski | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Dullerturtle | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Röökiboss | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | kikkeli | 45% | 133 |
| #5 | Nukku-Pasi | 40% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nukku-Pasi | 40% | 225 |
| #6 | joe | 38% | 29 |
| #7 | 30sekRipe | 37% | 99 |
| #8 | Samppa | 36% | 39 |
| #9 | rafal | 35% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nukku-Pasi | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | kikkeli | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | 30sekRipe | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | rafal | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Hovikuski | 3 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kikkeli | 406 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | rafal | 396 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | Nukku-Pasi | 296 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | 30sekRipe | 274 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | joe | 75 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | +8.09 | 90 | 81 |
| #2 | Dullerturtle | +2.58 | 53 | 65 |
| #3 | Röökiboss | +2.13 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | 30sekRipe | +0.99 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | Hovikuski | -0.32 | 63 | 51 |





