








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 556 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2789 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5613 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4848 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4891 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,058,739 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ms Bugsy | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | Sh3Smok3r | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | Kapten Ståfräs | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | VanDracul | 47% | 264 |
| #5 | SexyHuB | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Maja<3 | 37% | 124 |
| #13 | Kiwi | 35% | 54 |
| #14 | FieldForest | 35% | 91 |
| #15 | Luffy | 34% | 67 |
| #16 | SprängBengt | 25% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maja<3 | 19 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | VanDracul | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Kapten Ståfräs | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | GrriixX | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | FieldForest | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maja<3 | 329 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | VanDracul | 298 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | SuperBad | 256 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Trexxare | 202 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | SexyHuB | 184 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ms Bugsy | +4.62 | 64 | 60 |
| #2 | Sh3Smok3r | +4.58 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | Luffy | +3.94 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | GrriixX | +3.92 | 45 | 58 |
| #5 | SuperBad | +3.35 | 56 | 61 |





