








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 518 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3045 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3907 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3503 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2500 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,949,506 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Ms Bugsy | 45% | 53 |
| #10 | Bugsy77 | 45% | 122 |
| #11 | SexyHuB | 45% | 38 |
| #12 | Skinnybitcher | 37% | 119 |
| #13 | Maja<3 | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nallen | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Maja<3 | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Skinnybitcher | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Kapten Ståfräs | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | VanDracul | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nallen | 213 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | xFROSTIG | 147 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Maja<3 | 146 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | SexyHuB | 133 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | SuperBad | 103 | 0.07 | 2 min |





