








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6191 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3784 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4010 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3379 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,019 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | erm | 50% | 34 |
| #10 | Bims | 49% | 53 |
| #11 | GrobarJug-iwnl- | 48% | 23 |
| #12 | Poulpinet | 47% | 32 |
| #13 | Xardles | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAKSI152 | 11 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | pp | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Poulpinet | 8 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | mariatchi | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Flumpltn | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bims | 399 | 0.35 | 10 min |
| #2 | Flumpltn | 293 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | MAKSI152 | 288 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | mariatchi | 244 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | pp | 242 | 0.28 | 6 min |





