








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 518 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12117 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3453 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 10356 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3146 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,033,699 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apbowler | 65% | 94 |
| #2 | purple crayon swallower | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | danus | 55% | 173 |
| #4 | Bims | 53% | 107 |
| #5 | Ceipi | 53% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | RiiZe | 45% | 73 |
| #18 | Carrot | 45% | 62 |
| #19 | Poulpinet | 42% | 150 |
| #20 | pp | 40% | 200 |
| #21 | mariatchi | 39% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poulpinet | 36 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Flumpltn | 27 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | pp | 23 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | AitchBeeSea | 19 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | Xardles | 17 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 1287 | 0.31 | 31 min |
| #2 | Bims | 790 | 0.36 | 21 min |
| #3 | Flumpltn | 753 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #4 | nicozoro | 609 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | RiiZe | 431 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guggen | +5.12 | 85 | 71 |
| #2 | RiiZe | +3.93 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | Nibzter | +2.16 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | Apbowler | +1.75 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | purple crayon swallower | +1.14 | 71 | 68 |





