








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 599 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




152 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19694 | 49% |
| Smokes | 6259 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 8202 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6104 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,054,240 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guggen | 55% | 325 |
| #2 | Cat Cockshots | 47% | 59 |
| #3 | nicozoro | 44% | 119 |
| #4 | Flumpltn | 40% | 62 |
| #5 | MAKSI152 | 40% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MAKSI152 | 40% | 200 |
| #6 | Xardles | 38% | 110 |
| #7 | Poulpinet | 37% | 131 |
| #8 | mariatchi | 36% | 233 |
| #9 | Carrot | 22% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guggen | 37 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Poulpinet | 34 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | MAKSI152 | 22 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | mariatchi | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Xardles | 19 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guggen | 1338 | 0.21 | 41 min |
| #2 | MAKSI152 | 811 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | mariatchi | 754 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #4 | Carrot | 352 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Flumpltn | 343 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guggen | +5.78 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | nicozoro | +0.12 | 49 | 65 |
| #3 | pp | -0.38 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | MAKSI152 | -1.05 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | Carrot | -1.74 | 77 | 40 |





