








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 507 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 218 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9551 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9500 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9197 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7471 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,640,081 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2686 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RiiZe | 53% | 91 |
| #2 | purple crayon swallower | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | ✪ duckseries | 50% | 60 |
| #4 | Flumpltn | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | GrobarJug-iwnl- | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | MiniBeast | 43% | 75 |
| #9 | MAKSI152 | 39% | 100 |
| #10 | Xardles | 37% | 89 |
| #11 | pp | 36% | 233 |
| #12 | Carrot | 31% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 33 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Carrot | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | purple crayon swallower | 16 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Xardles | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Flumpltn | 6 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 1498 | 0.31 | 35 min |
| #2 | RiiZe | 489 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | Carrot | 436 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | MAKSI152 | 410 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | purple crayon swallower | 379 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RiiZe | +4.26 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | purple crayon swallower | +1.98 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | Ananas⛟ | +1.03 | 61 | 68 |
| #4 | pp | +0.76 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | MiniBeast | -0.01 | 72 | 48 |





