








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12018 | 38% |
| Smokes | 7455 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5636 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6233 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,315,413 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nibzter | 71% | 42 |
| #2 | Trip | 67% | 63 |
| #3 | nicozoro | 65% | 80 |
| #4 | Fakem1d_ | 59% | 34 |
| #5 | dog1ess | 58% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | NYAKUZA kiishiio | 44% | 36 |
| #12 | Flumpltn | 44% | 110 |
| #13 | Xardles | 38% | 47 |
| #14 | pp | 36% | 45 |
| #15 | Wavy | 31% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wavy | 38 | 0.0370 |
| #2 | Flumpltn | 30 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | Poulpinet | 26 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | pp | 15 | 0.0161 |
| #5 | erm | 13 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flumpltn | 578 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | MAKSI152 | 477 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | erm | 383 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | pp | 373 | 0.40 | 8 min |
| #5 | purple crayon swallower | 324 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nibzter | +8.26 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | nicozoro | +2.85 | 48 | 65 |
| #3 | Fakem1d_ | +1.38 | 92 | 68 |
| #4 | Bims | +1.12 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | Yeye | +1.11 | 53 | 51 |





