








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1078 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5598 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5321 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4635 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4241 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,359,327 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 735 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManBanana | 65 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | kurukuru | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | bearylamp | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | π‘πͺπΌπΌπ | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | α΄
α΄α΄Κ α΄‘Ιͺα΄Κ Ιͺα΄ | 7 | 0.0040 |





