








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2329 | 48% |
| Smokes | 1359 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 979 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,219 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faith | 66% | 88 |
| #2 | ManBanana | 64% | 117 |
| #3 | kurukuru | 59% | 173 |
| #4 | bearylamp | 53% | 151 |
| #5 | 冰淇淋真的 gamesense | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 冰淇淋真的 gamesense | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | C+ Tier | 50% | 82 |
| #7 | 𝓡𝓪𝓼𝓼𝔂 | 48% | 88 |
| #8 | 75aa | 43% | 79 |
| #9 | Guest | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManBanana | 27 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | kurukuru | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | 75aa | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | bearylamp | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Faith | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bearylamp | 437 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | 75aa | 391 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | kurukuru | 376 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | ManBanana | 248 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Faith | 164 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManBanana | +4.77 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | kurukuru | +3.89 | 92 | 58 |
| #3 | 75aa | +2.76 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | bearylamp | +0.57 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | ᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ | -0.73 | 37 | 41 |





