








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1289 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2041 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1912 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,955 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basil cat | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Untrusted | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Faith | 65% | 57 |
| #4 | ManBanana | 58% | 120 |
| #5 | kurukuru | 57% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kurukuru | 57% | 244 |
| #6 | bearylamp | 52% | 184 |
| #7 | ᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ | 50% | 82 |
| #8 | Ash | 44% | 18 |
| #9 | 𝓡𝓪𝓼𝓼𝔂 | 40% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManBanana | 29 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | kurukuru | 21 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | bearylamp | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Ash | 5 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | ᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurukuru | 669 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | bearylamp | 394 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | ManBanana | 264 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ | 244 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Untrusted | 86 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurukuru | +4.33 | 94 | 57 |
| #2 | ManBanana | +3.89 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | Untrusted | +3.05 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | Ash | -0.33 | 63 | 42 |
| #5 | bearylamp | -0.57 | 81 | 54 |





