








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 742 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 268 | 3% |
| Smokes | 1184 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2925 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4226 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,614,955 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Kittywtf | 40% | 107 |
| #13 | Synovus | 38% | 74 |
| #14 | MindlessMinion | 38% | 53 |
| #15 | Ash | 33% | 75 |
| #16 | β
J.A.G.β
| 31% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManBanana | 936 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #2 | kurukuru | 538 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | +π£+π―π²π°π±π’πΆ+ | 526 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | bearylamp | 461 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Faith | 359 | 0.12 | 6 min |





