








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 982 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4583 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4175 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3402 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5043 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,725,362 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManBanana | 61% | 280 |
| #2 | Faith | 58% | 257 |
| #3 | kurukuru | 57% | 381 |
| #4 | α΄
α΄α΄Κ α΄‘Ιͺα΄Κ Ιͺα΄ | 53% | 151 |
| #5 | C+ Tier | 52% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Faith | 58% | 257 |
| #3 | kurukuru | 57% | 381 |
| #4 | α΄
α΄α΄Κ α΄‘Ιͺα΄Κ Ιͺα΄ | 53% | 151 |
| #5 | C+ Tier | 52% | 184 |
| #6 | π‘πͺπΌπΌπ | 47% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManBanana | 81 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | kurukuru | 30 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | π‘πͺπΌπΌπ | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Faith | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | α΄
α΄α΄Κ α΄‘Ιͺα΄Κ Ιͺα΄ | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurukuru | 927 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | Faith | 672 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | ManBanana | 620 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | α΄
α΄α΄Κ α΄‘Ιͺα΄Κ Ιͺα΄ | 569 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #5 | C+ Tier | 260 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManBanana | +4.56 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | kurukuru | +3.26 | 89 | 56 |
| #3 | bearylamp | +0.46 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | C+ Tier | -0.25 | 58 | 42 |
| #5 | α΄
α΄α΄Κ α΄‘Ιͺα΄Κ Ιͺα΄ | -1.40 | 37 | 39 |





