








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1888 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1871 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1171 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1300 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $408,582 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Goose?! | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | givER | 48% | 90 |
| #5 | Big Sketty Steppa | 46% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Sketty Steppa | 12 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | givER | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Willy | 5 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | Stan | 2 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Goose?! | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givER | 378 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #2 | Big Sketty Steppa | 203 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Killuminati | 26 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Stan | 24 | 0.13 | 1 min |





