








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 694 | 19% |
| Smokes | 916 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1350 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 735 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $993,260 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 57% | 47 |
| #5 | ykkosvaantaja | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | hovinen | 53% | 62 |
| #7 | JTwoo | 48% | 25 |
| #8 | Moo Moo🐄 | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yegor.vadim b0$$ | 9 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | OTTO | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ykkosvaantaja | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | JTwoo | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hovinen | 156 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | yegor.vadim b0$$ | 147 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | OTTO | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 123 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ykkosvaantaja | 56 | 0.14 | 1 min |





