








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2094 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3389 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3244 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3008 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,858,016 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2580 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jussi | 66% | 68 |
| #2 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 62% | 60 |
| #3 | Akaza | 9 9 9 | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | yegor.vadim b0$$ | 59% | 145 |
| #5 | hovinen | 58% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yegor.vadim b0$$ | 23 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ykkosvaantaja | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Akaza | 9 9 9 | 8 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | ✪DieselWeasel✪ | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yegor.vadim b0$$ | 524 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | ✪DieselWeasel✪ | 307 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | hovinen | 208 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | ykkosvaantaja | 165 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 123 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akaza | 9 9 9 | +4.67 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | Lefa | +3.52 | 80 | 49 |
| #3 | ykkosvaantaja | +1.83 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | OTTO | +1.76 | 81 | 49 |
| #5 | ✪DieselWeasel✪ | +0.52 | 69 | 60 |





